I previously posted this on my old blog, but thought with the Christmas season and the new readers I’ve found here on radioactiverabbitink.com that I would repost it for your enjoyment.
Last night, I arrived home shortly after sunset with a full moon cresting the horizon. It was then that I heard it, an unmistakable howling. I knew the Christmas Wolves were in my neighborhood, staking their prospective victims.
I’m sorry, you don’t know about the Christmas wolves? Guess I should warn you properly then.
The Krampus . . . you don’t know the Krampus? You can find out about that horned menace here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krampus. Story tells that on Christmas Eve in 1684, the Krampus was on his way to Pope Innocent XI’s nephew. Apparently, having the pope as an uncle does not exclude one from the naughty list. At the pleading of his sister, the Pope imprisoned the Krampus in a blessed ivory box, which is still stored in the bowels of the Vatican.
Before the Krampus was caught, he had already taken three children, the worst in the land, and stuffed them into his basket. As the blessed box closed, the evil powers of the Krampus were expelled into his enchanted basket. As Innocent opened the basket, three large black wolves rose from its confines. Gone were the children, replaced by these malevolent beasts. Ever since on the days approaching Christmas, the wolves go around the world to naughty children seeking the worst of the worst. They will entreat the children with promises of fun and games. If the children leave the safety of their beds and go to the coarse haired beasts, those children then become wolves themselves. They are cursed to roam with the pack, always seeking naughty children to join them.
I know it sounds bleak, but don’t worry. Saint Nicholas (Santa Claus) was charged with not only rewarding the good children, but protecting all children from the evil of this curse. So it is, that he rides each Christmas Eve with his reindeer to keep away the wolves. The large Arctic reindeer that Santa employs are heartier than their European brethren. One kick from those mighty legs can end a wolf. Although, the world is a large place and Santa cannot be everywhere at once on Christmas Eve, so it is that he has employed the help of Gingerbread men. Yes, those Gingerbread men. Created with so much loving care for children around the world, infused with a mother’s care, the baked men rise at night to patrol the house and insure that no wolf can enter.
Wolves detest peppermint, so if you ever find a gingerbread man with a peppermint stick be grateful, he was most likely fending off one of the Christmas Wolves. Mistletoe also can serve as a fine way to keep the wolves at bay. According to tradition, cut Mistletoe must not touch the ground before it is hung, it is a ward against ill omens and evil deeds. To some degree this must be true, because the wolves will not cross the threshold of a door with Mistletoe hung above it.
So those of you reading these words, be sure you take all the necessary precautions. Gingerbread men need to made and formed. (I myself prefer ninjabread men: http://www.target.com/p/fred-3-piece-ninjabread-men-cookie-cutters-silver/-/A-14753429?ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001&AFID=Google_PLA_df&LNM=%7C14753429&CPNG=Kitchen&kpid=14753429&LID=PA&ci_src=17588969&ci_sku=14753429&gclid=CILmi6a5ursCFW0V7Aodb2YAYQ) Hang your candy canes on the tree. Make sure that the Mistletoe is hung above the door. Take these precautions and be sure to ward the Christmas Wolves away from your door.
Also these are just nice traditions, so you know double win. You don’t lose a kid to the Christmas Wolves and you get to make some fun memories.
Thanks for reading and Merry Christmas to all!